Family

I thought it would be easier once they were adults. I thought all the little things would go away. I can't separate myself from my kid's problems. If they have a problem, I have a problem. I guess I should be glad they tell me about them and come to me for help. But the thing is, they move on from their troubles and I cannot. I've got to learn how to do that because its affecting me a lot. I'm a mental mess.

It's been a very tough year so far. It's been one thing after another. When will some good times come? When will it get easier? When will they be able to take care of themselves? I'm only one man. I can't do it all. I can't be right all the time. I'm pretty much at my wit's end. I can't take much more.

My baby's home safe and sound. It was a very rough weekend and I never want to go through that again. It is no fun having one of your kids in the hospital. I have never felt so useless and out of control. The good thing is, it wasn't her heart. All the tests came back showing that her heart is fine. Great news. They said it could be caused by dehydration and something with a Vagus Nerve? I'm not sure what that is. She's going to follow up with her doctor and with a cardiologist. I'm just glad she's ok.

Yesterday was a rough day. Kari was having chest pains again and also felt faint so we took her to the emergency room at Oakwood hospital. They admitted her for tests. Something is causing her heart to beat irregularly and inefficiently. They said it could be a number of different things that would cause this. Please let this be some chemical imbalance and not her heart itself. The doctor didn't really say anything about it being her heart. He said it could be caused by dehydration, electrolytes, and even carbon monoxide. So I'm hopeful that it's something like that an...

So, the day before yesterday, my younger daughter is complaining of chest pains. Chest pains and pain in her left arm! She's 24. Twenty four and she has the classic symptoms of a heart attack. I can't stand it. I tried to get her to go to the hospital but she wouldn't go. I should have carried her out but I didn't. Yesterday she went to the see a doctor. The doctor ordered an EKG and it came back abnormal. Now I'm scared. She also ordered a full blood work up and set up an appointment with a cardiologist. Today my daughter...

My mom was a Price Is Right fanatic. She taped the show every single day and watched it when she got home from work. She absolutely loved that show. In the early 80's, I think it was 1982 or 1983, she flew to Los Angeles to try and be on the show. And guess what? "Berniece McLeod! Come on down!" Check it out, it's pretty awesome!

Powerless. That's how I feel. Powerless. I've never felt so out of control in my entire life. I feel as if I have no power over anything in my life.

Only with gift cards.

I've said in the past, and I still feel the same now, that I don't want grandkids right now. Yes, one day of course, but not in the very near future. I have my reasons and I still think they're valid, but I won't go into that here. Last night, Gayla and I were flipping through the channels because there was absolutely nothing on television. She and I have totally different tastes in TV shows anyway but last night there was nothing on that either of us liked. We stumbled onto "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". The original cartoon version. This...

Kari and I are going to start a design company. We've talked about it for a while but have never really done anything about it. Well, it's time to get our butts in gear. We talked today for a bit and it's a go. We'll do web and print design, logos, etc.,  and hopefully some programming. Now we need a name, domain name, web site, logo, and business cards. Oh yeah, and customers! Stay tuned.

It's been a helluva week. It started out really good. I took Monday off and went for a ride with Marty, Tim, Johnny, and Jeff. The weather was well, half-way decent and it's probably going to be the last long ride of the season. I hope not but the weather is definitely not cooperating. We started out at The Yacht Club in Livonia and then made our way to The South Lyon Hotel. It was a cool old place. I guess it was actually a hotel back in the day. Looked like an old western saloon. From there we took off...

Happy 30th Gayla Sue! Here's to 30 more. I love you.

Today is Jamie's birthday and like every year we're having a backyard BBQ of hamburgers from Norman's Market and hot dogs. I think it's her favorite since that's what she wants to do every year. Grandma, Staci, Kari and Bryan, Brandon, and Brandon's parents will all be here. Jamie's and Kari's puppies, Bishop and Brody, will also be here. Poor Koders. We invited Greg and Dawn but haven't heard if they'll be coming. I have to put on a good act today though as I'm extremely upset with and mad at both the girls. Nevertheless, it will be a good time. I...

Happy birthday Dad. I really miss you.

Ahhh, Me Mudder When me prayers were poorly said Who tucked me in me widdle bed And spanked me till me ass was red, Me Mudder! Who took me from me cozy cot And put me on the ice cold pot And made me pee when I could not, Me Mudder! And when the morning light would come And in me crib me dribbled some Who wiped me tiny widdle bum, Me Mudder! Who would me hair so neatly part And hug me gently to her heart Who sometimes squeezed me till me fart, Me Mudder! Who looked at me with eyebrows...

I miss you.

This came in the mail today. My girls got it for me for my birthday. It is one sweet shirt!  Slowly but surely my wardrobe is getting blacker. Gayla bought me a hydraulic jack for my bike. It's now safely jacked up off the ground and nicely tucked away for the winter. I even have more room in the garage now. Nice job on the presents guys! Love ya. </p></body></html>

The girls bought me "Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Runnin' Down a Dream" DVD set for my birthday. Tom Petty is probably my favorite musican/band. They are so tight and clean. Anyway, I started watching it this morning before football and absolutely loved it! I found it an interesting story how they got started. There's also a couple good stories about a "festival" they put on with a bunch of bands and how they made their way out west to make an album. Great stuff from the 70's. What I really noticed though was how likeable Tom Petty is. He seems...

Happy birthday Dad. I miss you terribly.

I mentioned in a previous post about my "magic fertilizer" and what a great job it did on my lawn. Well, here's a before and after set that shows what it looked like last year  when no one lived here and what it looks like today. The before picture is from a Google Maps Street View image. Before... And After... Can you say "magic fertilizer"?

A couple of weeks ago "The Kode Man" and I were out front checkin' out the lawn, watchin' the sprinklers (I know, shut up), and having a beer after a long day of working in the yard. Sitting in the front yard by the way, is now Kody's absolute favorite thing to do. He actually comes to me and begs to go out and sit in the driveway! Strange. Anyway, it was a pretty decent day but we were due to have some storms because of a cold front that was coming through the area. I snapped these pictures as it...

Well my first week at Belle Tire is over. I have to say that I really think I'm going to like it there (fingers crossed!). It's pretty laid back and I can pretty much make my own hours. So far, I've been going in early so I can leave early. I was home by 5:00 every day last week and that was sweet! Another thing that we don't do there that I'm really happy about is keep track of our time. I know that sounds like a trivial item but at my last employer we had to track EVERY 15 MINUTES...

It's been a crazy week/month/year! Besides buying a new house and trying to get it the way we like it, I've been job hunting, found a new job, will start my new job next Monday, been working on a web site for my daughter's company, and starting to work on a web site for my daughter's volleyball team. Oh and, not to mention working every damn day! Whew. Speaking of my new job, I'll be working for Belle Tire at the corporate headquarters as a developer in the IT department. I'm really looking forward to the change. It's been needed for a...

I’ve been thinking A LOT about my mom and dad lately. My mom died in 1993 and my dad in 1997. Cancer. Both of them. I wish they were here to see what a wonderful young woman Jamie has become. They would be so proud. I wish they were here to see Kari graduate from college. They would be so proud. I wish they were here to see our new house. They would’ve liked it. Before we moved in, I would be here (our new house) late at night painting by myself. I kept thinking that I would look up and see...

Happy birthday Mom. I love and miss you. Keith

My baby is going to graduate college this December with a graphic design degree. This morning we set up her web site and portfolio. She's very talented. And in need of a job! If you need some design work, you should give her a call. http://www.KariMcLeod.com

My brother in law bought a new camera so I bought his old one. A very nice Canon EOS Rebel. I think it was made in 2003 and I got a great deal on it. I just got back from a week in Fort Lauderdale Florida yesterday. I took the camera with me and took a whopping 6 pictures. Six. Pictures. In a week. I must do better.

When I was a kid, I don't ever remember snow on the ground for Easter. It was always warm. Now it seems that it's always cold and nasty. Even when the kids were little we always had to cover up their new Easter dresses with a big heavy coat when they were hunting Easter eggs. This is what we see out of our front door this morning. Snow. Snow and gray skies. And it's cold! The wind chill, yes, a wind chill in April, is 12 degrees. The high today is 31 degrees. Below freezing. We're starting the second week of...

I had posted earlier that Gayla's dad suffered an aortic aneurysm that had burst. I'm sorry to say that after two weeks, he didn't make it. We were so happy when he came through the surgery I guess we didn't want to think about how serious things were. Long story short, his organs started failing from the lack of blood flow. It was a horrible time. We had to decide when to remove life support. Even though I was at both my parent's side when they passed, they weren't on life support so this was my first experience with that....

It's official. We're going to Fort Lauderdale in June. The whole family is going, including boyfriends. We're going to a "casual wedding" that will be held on the beach. Sweet! Never been to one of those. Three months and counting...

It's been a very rough time for our family the past nine days. On Tuesday, December 12th, my father-in-law suffered an abdominal aortic aneurysm. Remarkably he has survived and is doing ok. There have been many ups and downs but we'll take every little victory we can get. After all, most people who have this don't even make it to the hospital. As of last night, he started opening his eyes and looking at us. It was wonderful to see. As I said, we'll take the small victories. Hang in there Dad. You're doing great.

This is a pretty cool site if you grew up around Detroit in the 50's, 60's, and/or 70's. Check it out. http://www.detroitmemories.com/

"The Pub" is ready for Christmas. Man what a weekend! Worked my ass off in the basement! I had to clean a room down there that got destroyed when my younger daughter moved home from college. I could've used a dumpster! :) Anyway, it's all nice and neat now and the tree is up! I need an egg nog.

Meet the newest member of our family! She's a little shy. This is Kari and Steven's new puppy. I'm afraid she doesn't have a name yet. "Lil Koders" is not gonna like this! Update: This little girl's name is Mandy.

I've been looking forward to the Thanksgiving 4 day weekend for about a month now. It was really a great mini vacation and I couldn't ask for better weather. It's been in the upper 50's and sunny since Wednesday and it's near 60 today! Definitely unusual weather for November in Michigan. The bad thing is that I didn't do a damn thing except put my Christmas lights up on the house today. It was kind of a wasted weekend, but every now and then you need to sit back and do absolutely nothing. I did need some time to get my...

Looks like Vegas is out. The kids need books for school, the kids got screwed on their rent, the kids don't have enough money for their car insurance, the kids need a room built in the basement, we need new carpet on the stairs, we need new carpet in the living room, you can't have new carpet without new furniture, you wouldn't dare put new carpet down without painting first. It never ends. Sigh. Maybe we can get away for a weekend to Soaring Eagle.

I've been off all week because my new company closes down between Christmas and New Year's day. It's really a great benefit to have the week off especially when we're such a small company. So I was sitting here earlier tonight getting myself mentally prepared to return to the grind tomorrow when the phone rang about 9:30. It was the owner of my company calling to tell me that we would be closed again tomorrow for the holiday. I was and still am totally floored! I am so lucky to have found a company like this to work for. It...

Well, day three is in the books at the new job and I am absolutely loving it! I'm getting along great with everyone and already loving what I am doing! Heh, I've only been there three days and they've already bought me lunch twice! I should probably explain. The have a couple of traditions where they buy lunch: on a new employee's first day, and on an employee's birthday. Well, my first day was last Monday and my birthday was yesterday! Timing is everything right? Today I worked on one of our client's ASP.Net web application and created a new page. It...

My in-laws went to Colorado last month to visit our family. They snapped this stunning picture of Pike's Peak while they were watching my nephews play football. Notice the fog down in the valley and the beautiful cloudless blue sky! We don't see that much around Michigan. Great picture Mom! Tell me again why we live in Michigan?

On this Thanksgiving Eve of 2005, I am thankful for... my wife - after 26 years, the fire still burns my kids - they are so awesome my sisters - we are all we've got my in-laws - there are none better my friends from NW - a great bunch of guys and gals who are going through some tough times right now The Solutions Group - who you say? The Solutions Group, my new employer!!! Yes, I have a new job! As of next Monday, the 28th of November, 2005, I will be doing software development for The Solutions Group in Ann...

What a weekend! Saturday I went to the Michigan game and Sunday to the lowly Lion's game. Had a great time, maybe too great! Thought I'd post some pictures from the Michigan tailgate. Click on the image to see it bigger. Gotta love the flags...   These people used to tailgate in the golf course but I guess it's getting to be a pain over there so they thought they'd give this place a try. They have a real nice setup!    This is our group here... Playin' the midwest's favorite! Euchre anyone? We left Saturday morning at 9:30 am and I got home around...

I have decided that this is where I want to live... In case you're wondering, it's Palm Springs, California. Probably not much demand for software developers there. Damn.

This is a little late but, so what. It sure didn't seem like Easter this year. Our kids are grown up now so... we didn't color eggs we didn't make them Easter baskets consquently, there was no Easter egg hunt and no baskets to be found We did however, buy them each a card, some Easter candy, and of course, gave them some money. We went over to Gayla's brother's house for dinner. They're kids are older too. They're teenagers. Holidays are definitely different when the kids are grown up. I know, I know, one day, not soon I hope! there will be grandbabies. Shut...

So my sister was in town this past weekend. She's been wanting to do something for me to congratulate me on my graduation from college. We were going to meet her and her husband Will in Las Vegas but that didn't work out. Then we tried to get me out to Colorado for a visit and a weekend in their motor home, but that didn't work out either! So while they were in town this weekend they went out and bought me a new LCD TV for my bar! How cool is that?!!!! It's absolutely perfect and has an awesome...

I've set up a forum at Big K's Forums for my very good friend Terry who was in an accident a couple of weeks ago. If you know Terry, you most likely know what happened. The forum is a place for everyone who is concerned about him to get information about his condition and to communicate with others who are concerned about him too. Also, when Terry gets back online, he can communicate with all of us too. The url is http://www.bigkspub.com/BigKsForums/ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=26. Please stop by and say “Hi”.

I can't believe that it's already 10 PM on Sunday night. It seems like Friday was just a couple of hours ago. Saturday absolutely flew by because we got hit with about 8 to 10 inches of snow and I spent the day digging myself, my in-laws, and my sister in-law out. After that, because the roads were still so bad, I drove Kari to work so she wouldn't have to drive herself on the nasty roads, and by the time I got back from dropping her off, I had just enough time to jump in the shower and get ready to...

I finally scanned this picture into my computer the other night. It is my favorite picture of Gayla and me. Of course, it's about 25 years old and we look just a little different now. I think this was taken at one of the Republic Airlines (now Northwest Airlines) company picnics, and I would guess the year to be around 1979 or 1980. That would put us just around 20 years old. I can't see any wedding rings so I don't know if we were married yet or not. We were married in June of 1979. Yes we were drinking beer, and even...

Today is Gayla's birthday! She's my wife in case you didn't know, and she's 46 today! She probably doesn't want me to tell people her age but that's just, too, bad, cuz now? she's older than me! Ha! Have a great day baby! Sorry it had to snow on your birthday. I know how much you love snow. On a more serious note, Gayla's dad is having surgery today to repair a torn muscle in his shoulder. They're doing the procedure arthroscopically (sp?) so hopefully it won't be too hard on him. Hang in there dad, we'll be golfing before you know it!

I miss you.

Times sure have changed. The kids are out partying and the parents are home in bed. Happy New Year!!!

Well, I got the tree up this weekend. I'm about two weeks ahead of where I normally am this time of year! I don't know what's gotten into me. Heck, I even put lights on the house this year. Had those up last week!! Must be my old age settin' in. I've set up a photo album for Christmas this year as well as other holidays. I'll be posting more pictures as I take them.

Meet Kody. The, most spoiled dog, in the world. Please excuse his, um, bad manners.

I got some new Michigan stuff for Big K's Pub on my birthday which, by the way, was this last Monday. You'd think I have enough Michigan stuff. But you'd be wrong. ;) Check it out! Awesome flag huh?! This is from my daughter Jamie. I've got the picture turned 90 degrees. It's actually hanging on a door next to the bar. And my in-laws got me this awesome rug. I have it layin' right in front of the TV. Let's see, what else. Kari gave me a very cool “weathered” sweat shirt. And my sister in-law Staci gave me a Michigan pull-over jacket similar...

All I can say is that I hurt myself yesterday but have recovered nicely today. Please pass the leftovers!

Yesterday was a great day all around. Not only did Michigan win, but my older sister Sharon and her husband Will rolled into town in their motor home for a quick visit! After the Michigan game we all gathered at our house and watched Wisconsin whip Ohio State and had some beer and pizza down at Big K's Pub. My other sister Deniece and her husband Chuck came by along with Gayla's parents, her sister Staci, and my niece Kristen and her two kids. Needless to say we had a house full but it was really great having everyone over. After the...