Outta My Mind

A Revelation

Keith — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:02:50 GMT

Remember this feeling. Remember this attitude. Remember this......this person. This is me. Not the person I've been. The person that is really inside. A man. Confident. Strong. Me. Remember this! It's imperative. That other person is not me. It's what they've made me. It's what they've tried to make me. It ain't happening. Now go forward. Not backward. Forward. Remember who you really are. Be who you really are. Come here often. Remember this feeling. Remember this person. Be that person.

Make it stop

Keith — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 16:13:29 GMT

It's been a very tough year so far. It's been one thing after another. When will some good times come? When will it get easier? When will they be able to take care of themselves? I'm only one man. I can't do it all. I can't be right all the time.

I'm pretty much at my wit's end. I can't take much more.

The Vagus Nerve??

Keith — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:26:45 GMT

My baby's home safe and sound. It was a very rough weekend and I never want to go through that again. It is no fun having one of your kids in the hospital. I have never felt so useless and out of control.

The good thing is, it wasn't her heart. All the tests came back showing that her heart is fine. Great news. They said it could be caused by dehydration and something with a Vagus Nerve? I'm not sure what that is. She's going to follow up with her doctor and with a cardiologist. I'm just glad she's ok.

The Emergency Room

Keith — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 13:45:54 GMT

Yesterday was a rough day. Kari was having chest pains again and also felt faint so we took her to the emergency room at Oakwood hospital. They admitted her for tests. Something is causing her heart to beat irregularly and inefficiently. They said it could be a number of different things that would cause this. Please let this be some chemical imbalance and not her heart itself. The doctor didn't really say anything about it being her heart. He said it could be caused by dehydration, electrolytes, and even carbon monoxide. So I'm hopeful that it's something like that an not her heart.

The room that she is in is all too familiar. It's in a section of the hospital where we all sat when Gayla's dad was there. At that time, the section was closed off and we would have as many as 10 family members up there so when we couldn't be in Dad's room, we would stay in this closed off section to be out of the way. It's an eerie feeling. It's amazing how quickly the bad memories come back.

That's it. Keep piling it on.

Keith — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:43:05 GMT

So, the day before yesterday, my younger daughter is complaining of chest pains. Chest pains and pain in her left arm! She's 24. Twenty four and she has the classic symptoms of a heart attack. I can't stand it. I tried to get her to go to the hospital but she wouldn't go. I should have carried her out but I didn't.

Yesterday she went to the see a doctor. The doctor ordered an EKG and it came back abnormal. Now I'm scared. She also ordered a full blood work up and set up an appointment with a cardiologist.

Today my daughter called to see when the appointment with the cardiologist is and it's not until March 1st! March 1st? Are you serious??? She can't get in for an entire month???

God I hope this is some deficiency in her diet or anemia or something! Please don't let it be her heart.

I can't stop thinking about it. I think about it every waking minute and even when I'm sleeping. God, please keep her safe and make her healthy.

My Mom on The Price Is Right!

Keith — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 15:51:03 GMT

My mom was a Price Is Right fanatic. She taped the show every single day and watched it when she got home from work. She absolutely loved that show. In the early 80's, I think it was 1982 or 1983, she flew to Los Angeles to try and be on the show. And guess what?

"Berniece McLeod! Come on down!"

Check it out, it's pretty awesome!

Mid Winter Blues

Keith — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 03:22:44 GMT

Dying. Man I am dying to ride my bike. It's so nasty outside. And there it sits. In my garage. Just waiting and wanting to be fired up and hit the street. It's too freakin' cold. Michigan. Fricken winter. It's killin' me.

Let's see what comes out

Keith — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 03:02:28 GMT

So I've been wanting to write something for a few days now, and I have a good topic I want to cover, but tonight I just want write a bunch of random thoughts that I have and see what comes out. So here goes...

Stopped at Brays again on the way home from bowling and it sucked again. That's two weeks in a row. I don't know if they changed the wax paper they wrap the burgers in but the top buns are sticking to the paper! And it won't come off! Last week was worse than this week because I had to eat my burgers with no top bun. Which sucked. This week was the same but it didn't stick as badly. I've been thinking of telling them about this via Facebook. Maybe I should.

Speaking of bowling, it's really been a struggle lately. Last week I shot 521. I just couldn't find it. This week was a little better, I shot 628. Which is average but it should have been a lot better. I shot 237 the first game but it should have been somewhere in the 270's. I got a couple really bad breaks with a ringing ten pin and a solid eight. The second game just blew. I couldn't put two strikes together to save my life. The third game I shot two something and opened in the tenth with a wide open split. We only took two points against the first place team. Ugh.

There's a couple good events coming up. The second annual "Winter Blows Party" and the Motorcycle Swap Meet in February. I'm really looking forward to those.

Let's see...what else? Oh! I bought some new grips for my bike. The Kuryakyn ISO Grips. Awesome. Can't wait to put them on. I asked my buddy Ebb to come by and give me a hand since I've never done it. I think I can handle it but it's always good to get the guys together and do some wrenching on the bike. Next I think I'll buy some chrome switch covers. I should probably do that before we put the grips on so we can do them together. Hmmmm. Might just have to break out some more birthday money.

Last Sunday I hooked up with the Best Man in our wedding, Mike Schroeder. I haven't seen or talked to him in probably 27 or more years. I've been thinking about him a lot in the past few years but didn't know how to find him. His wife Lisa used to work at our dentist office years ago but she moved on so I had no way to find them. Enter Facebook. Anyway, I went over Mike's house and spent three hours catching up and rehashing old times. It was a really great time and the best thing about it was we picked up right where we left off. There were no uncomfortable moments at all. That tells me he's a great and lifelong friend. I hope to see a lot more of him and Lisa.

That's enough for now. Gotta tough day at work tomorrow and I'm tired so I'm hittin' it. The words flowed pretty easily.

Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon

Keith — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:19:29 GMT

Love the ending when Stevie just jammin'.

Powerless

Keith — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 05:00:00 GMT

Powerless. That's how I feel. Powerless. I've never felt so out of control in my entire life. I feel as if I have no power over anything in my life.

My new favorite webcam

Keith — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:54:35 GMT

Since the Pikes Peak Cam is still down, this is my new favorite webcam.

From the web site...

"This view of the Santa Catalina Mountains looks north across the University of Arizona campus from the Computer Science offices in the Gould-Simpson building. A new image is generated once a minute."

Beautiful. I wish I was seeing it in person.

Happy New Year

Keith — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:58:57 GMT

Well, here we go. Another year. 2010. Wow. It seems like just yesterday we were all waiting for the computers of the world to crash on Y2K.

There's a lot I want to do this year. A lot. Let's get crackin'. Thankfully I don't feel like Woody here today!

The Bates Family Christmas Exchange

Keith — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:19:55 GMT

Only with gift cards.

The Grinch and Grandbabies

Keith — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:00:02 GMT

I've said in the past, and I still feel the same now, that I don't want grandkids right now. Yes, one day of course, but not in the very near future. I have my reasons and I still think they're valid, but I won't go into that here.

Last night, Gayla and I were flipping through the channels because there was absolutely nothing on television. She and I have totally different tastes in TV shows anyway but last night there was nothing on that either of us liked. We stumbled onto "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". The original cartoon version. This is one of my favorite Christmas shows if not my most favorite. Gayla says she never liked it because the Grinch was so mean. Normally, she wouldn't sit there and watch something like that with me but for some reason last night she did and we watched the entire show.

As we were watching it occurred to me how cool it would be to be sitting there watching this classic Christmas show with our grandchildren. I could almost here them asking questions as to why the Grinch was doing the bad things he was doing.

"Why is he so mean Grampa?"

"Awe, his poor doggie Gramma."

"I don't like the Grinch Grampa!"

I even tried to explain some things in my head! I have to say, it really made we want some grandbabies right there and then. Wow. Who'da thought?

I still feel that now is not the time but I do know that it would be awfully nice to have some in the future.

The dreaded hourglass

Keith — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:55:03 GMT

I wonder how much time is wasted/spent everyday by every person waiting for the dreaded spinning hourglass. It's gotta be in the years!